When I was very young, people would come to me for relationship advice—before I had any experience myself in relationships. I think it’s because somehow they knew that I would never judge their relationships and choices, but instead reflect back to them the “knowing” that was already inside of them.
I would be called to intervene by somebody contemplating suicide or divorce, to be the mediator in marriage or business disputes, to coach single men and women to express their authentic selves while dating in order to attract the best mate who would love them unconditionally, even helping to revise online profiles to match their “true selves” so they could attract the most compatible partner. If you’ve seen the movie, Hitch, that has been a role I’ve often played in many scenarios—the words and actions behind the persons who may be too hesitant to express their true selves and/or think that doing so is committing a major relationship faux pas.
The number one thing I’ve encouraged people with “relationship” challenges to do is to stop trying to be somebody you’re not, something that is not consistent with who you truly are because you’ve read a book on how to attract a certain kind of mate. Never bemoan or commiserate with friends, colleagues or acquaintances. And, if you are ever getting relationship advice from somebody, ask yourself have they ever been in a successful relationship that you would want? Check in first and foremost with the most important person in your life – YOU – for the answers that already lie within your heart.
“What do you think … if you think you truly knew the answer, what would you do or say?” Sometimes clients become frustrated during coaching sessions because they want me to give them the answer. However, it deprives them of exploring and finding the answer that already lies within—a process that can empower someone for a lifetime.
I still believe that when there’s no clutter standing in the way – emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically – most people become very clear about what they love, what is the truth, what’s meaningful and purposeful to them … and the answers bubble to the surface of that crystal clear pond of their consciousness, reflecting this inner knowingness.
When you reach this beautiful space, you become empowered and confident to share what remains—the simplicity and beauty of your unique heart you were born with, and which makes you who you are.
In this Dear June, I’ve answered an important question I get asked all the time when people start sharing what’s truly inside of them, which we know can be so scary. It’s so important to remember that this relationship in front of you is there for a reason. For you to learn, grow, evolve. To transform. To become more of who you were born to be. To honor the beautiful masterpiece called YOU.
Sending you miracles while you share the beautiful feelings in your heart to create space for true and authentic love, and magical & miraculous relationships–whether with yourself or another!
love, loveyourself, mindbodyspirit, relationships, spirituality